You Know You're In Band When
by MissFictionPrincess
Summary: I'm sure this has been done loads of times but I don't care. 25 or more really short chapters. True stories.
1. How to tell if you're in band

**WHOA! I have found a scrap of time to write! I love the world! So this is a Marching Band one. All you band kids will understand. :) Oh and this is a sort of table of contents…cos I know it isn't going to let me write some of these as chapter titles.**

You Know You're In Band When…

You Believe you can fly.

Your band is conducted by Voldemort.

You cheer for the participation award.

You have been to Ireland.

You are a family and act as such.

The Saxophone section leader is known as Mr. Saxobeat.

The Color Guard has light saber fights.

You hide clarinets in the salad bar.

You play games of Big Booty with three people and still can't remember your number.

You love Megan.

When instructed to "rack and stack" you build a bridge out of chairs and stands.

"You're out of this band, you're out of my life, get out of my way!"

You play MASH like a 5th grader and believe that it truly decides your future.

Papa ate your sweater.

You want to marry the 'sexy, "curvatious" lines' of your show drill.

Jesus is in the sky.

There's a dead bird on your shako.

The bus ride is the best part of away games.

You have demons called dot books.

"Hey, Baby!" and "Sweet Caroline" are your songs for life.

You have random dance parties while getting dressed in uniform.

People obsess over how soft your hair is.

You freak out at the sight of new carpet in the band room.

Clarinets sing "In the Jungle".

You know about Kitty Paws.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Names have been changed.**

**You know you're in band when…**

**You believe you can fly.**

For the past two years we've had some pretty good Drum Majors. Freshman year we had three guys who enjoyed titles such as "Best (insert instrument) Player in the State" and loved to argue about stupid things such as how to pronounce the word "crayon." We loved them and their odd quirks and were really sad when they left.

Sophomore year we had two Majors who were total opposites of each other. Maggie conducted as if she were dancing while Alex conducted like he wasn't allowed to move which later earned him the nickname Kitty Paws. As different as they were, they were awesome Drum Majors and amazing friends.

This year, junior year, we have Caroline and Sara conducting us. They've been taught to conduct so many different ways that now they have no idea what to do. They just wave their arms around while Kyle and the percussion section keep the beat. "Special K," my saxophone buddy Tyler and I like to imitate Sara and her weird way of conducting. She cuts off by flinging her arms into the air like some sort of bird. Oh the joys of believing you can fly.

**Reviews are like hugs. I like hugs.**


	3. Chapter 2

**I'm on a roll.**

**You know you're in band when…**

**You're conducted by Voldemort.**

We've had some…interesting…band directors in the past. They've all left for various reasons, some of which are valid and some of which are stopping just short of ridiculous. Our current director, Mr. James, is okay. Most of the band has a love/hate relationship with him. One day he'll do something that pisses you off, the next day he does something super cool. It's quite hard to say if I actually like him or not. He's neutral.

Anyway, when we first met him, he sort of reminded me of a dentist or a doctor. He was carrying around some papers that looked important and he talked like a doctor would talk to a patient. When school started, we sat in band class doing some sight reading. Apparently we missed something he was trying to tell us and he wound up waving his baton angrily at us why making a loud yelling sort of noise (similar to the noise Voldemort makes before using _Avada Kedavra_.)

That weekend we were all hanging out and someone asked who Mr. James reminded us of. Simultaneously, all of us said "Voldemort." Not only was it hilarious that we had just blurted out the same thing but it's also true. I think they're long lost brothers.

**Reviews please! **


	4. Chapter 3

**You know you're in band when…**

**You cheer for the participation award.**

Our show was pretty difficult. The music had lots of 16th note runs and the drill chart involved a few complicated sets. It was set up in four movements. We practice twice a week, have low funding, and our only assistant is the Guard instructor, Rachel. We have a great show though. We all worked really hard and practiced our hearts out. So when it came time for our first competition we thought we had this in the bag from the second we set foot on the field.

Our morning rehearsal had gone great, bringing out Drum Major, Sara, to tears when we performed so well. We were confident as we walked out onto the field. The bigger AAAAA bands didn't scare us. We were told to focus only on ourselves. When we asked Mr. James who we would be competing against, he had told us that we were competing against ourselves.

When retreat came and the seniors went onto the field for awards, we sat on the bleachers waiting for our school to be called out. Following tradition, we cheer for anything we win, including participation. When the participation plaques were given out, we were the only band to stand up and cheer loudly. Granted it was awkward but we had fun doing it.

After fifteen minutes of waiting, our band hadn't won anything. We waited to win best Guard or best Drum Major. We had fingers crossed for best Music or best Show but none of them came. Finally, when it looked like we would come in last, we won third place. Out of four. But hey, we weren't last which was enough for us. We cheered longer than any of the other bands. Three cheers for participating! We were there!

**I like reviewers. And nothing makes me sadder than to see people are reading and not reviewing. I cried a little. (Not really.)**


	5. Chapter 4

**You know you're in band when…**

**You've been to Ireland.**

Every year we have a spring trip. Usually it's an 8 hour bus ride to Orlando, Florida for a combination of marching and concert competition. We generally go to Disney World. But once in your four years in high school, you take on the Big One. The Trip of a Lifetime. The Big Kahuna: A trip to Ireland.

The actual traveling bit was awful. The flight attendants woke you up from your minimal amount of sleep to feed you. They switched the lights on to sell you things from Sky Mall. They would give you drinks until you felt you would wet yourself. And on top of all that fun stuff, the plane food makes you want to puke your guts out. Our poor band mom, Mrs. Greer (aka the most wonderful person alive in the world today) had so much to deal with that she needs to be awarded the Super Band Mom award.

After a rough start and being awake for over 24 hours, we piled onto the coach and headed out to Galway. The coach driver talked all the way to Clonmacnoise but no one was listening because we were all zonked out, laying against windows and fellow band member's shoulders. We finally arrived and I couldn't talk. Apparently colds plus freezing temperatures equals becoming a fantastic mute. I was forced to mime out things helplessly for a day and a half.

After everyone got adjusted to the time change, we started having a blast. I even wrote a lovely song on the way back from our concert entitled "Homework in the Fire." The entire thing went a little something like this:

I really don't wanna go home

'Cause I have to get on the plane

And the food there made me sick

Yeah I really don't wanna go home

I really don't wanna go home

'Cause I have to go back to school

And I don't wanna go to school

Homework in the fire

Homework in the fire

Homework in the fire

Put your homework in the fire

Homework in the fire

Yeah.

This is the product of mashed potato overload and band insanity.

(No band kids were harmed in the making of this song.)

After our stay in Galway, we literally drove cross country to Dublin. Dublin's food was not as good with the exception of Leo Burdock's Fish and Chips. Let me be the first to tell you that those are the best chips I've ever had in my entire life.

On the plus side, we got to march in the St. Patrick's Day Parade. I thought that people in Ireland would look at the silly American way of celebrating St. Patty's Day with disdain. Oh contraire. The Irish get really into St. Patrick's Day, climbing on statues and rooftops to get a better view of the parade. They wear just as many silly hats and masques as we do here, if not more. It was really quite surreal.

The plane ride back was sad. A few people (including myself) had to hold back tears as we left the runway. I looked out the window until Frankie decided to close it so he could sleep. We arrived in New York where we purchased overpriced chicken nuggets and smoothies at the gate and boarded our connection flight back home. The saddest part was when I got off the plane, looked at a picture of a cow and said "Moooooo! Cowwws!" Yeah, I was tired.

**Whoa, a long one. There was just so much stuff to cram in there. Please read and review because I love you! :D**


	6. Chapter 5

**You know you're in band when…**

**You're a family and act as such.**

Out of all the teams and clubs that are supposedly "really close," there's nothing like the Band Family. Because you hang out with these people every single day of the year, you know them perhaps better than you know the people that live in your house and drink all the milk you had saved for your cereal. Marching bandies are especially close because they have extra bonding time due to practices, games and competitions.

Most of the time, you feel pretty relaxed around your fellow banditos. You often time make perverted jokes, pick on each other and act like five year olds because, face it, you really like not acting your age. And what better place to not act your age than in a group of people who share that hobby? They joys of band and it's silly, stupid, socially awkward atmosphere! There's never a dull moment in band.

**Review. Please?**


	7. Chapter 6

**You know you're in band when…**

**The saxophone section leader is known as Mr. Saxobeat.**

"Jane, make me a Panini!" Michael yelled across the practice field. Jane rolled her eyes. It was bad enough that all the guys asked for sandwiches but Michael had just got all sandwich-specific on her. This was to be expected from him though. He was the hilarious trouble-making one after all.

"Hey Jane, they have this song called Mr. Saxobeat. I wonder if they have a Ms. Fluteobeat too?" Jane held back the smile. "I don't think so, Mr. Saxobeat." Michael smiled as he picked up his tenor sax and walked back to his spot in the drill. Jane picked up her flute and jogged across the field to her spot.

She knew Mr. Saxobeat would never admit it, but he had a teensy-weensy crush on her.

**Dear Person (well I'm assuming you are a person.),**

**Kindly review.**

**Kthanksbye**


	8. Chapter 7

**You know you're in band when…**

**The Color Guard has light saber fights.**

One of our stand tunes for marching band is Darth Vader's Theme. Since the color guard doesn't play, they make up dances and stuff to do while we play our pep tunes. Megan, the Star Wars obsessed one, decided it would be a fantastic idea to smuggle some toy light sabers in under her guard jacket, you know, the ones little kids have. Only a few people were in on it, including me.

The first time we played it, she whipped out her light saber and started slashing away at Katy who had also drawn her weapon. They had a thirty second full on Jedi fight before putting them away like nothing had ever happened. It was fantastic.

**A/N: Ah! It's been so long! Well reviews please! And share your band stories cos I love hearing them!**


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